Dancing Past the Dark ~ distressing near-death experiences

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Near-death experiences

Two voices for existential truth

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Much of contemporary talk about spirituality is taken up with the importance–even the essentialness–of positive thinking, of accepting only the light and believing we can refuse pain and difficulty. It is easy to forget that there may be something to be said for a more existentially open view. In the weekend marking the Christian observance of the brutal death of Jesus, here are the great psychologist William James and Old Testament scholar Walter Brueggemann:

William James, in The Varieties of Religious Experience, casts his lot with existential honesty:

“The method of averting one’s attention from evil, and living simply in the light of good is splendid as long as it will work…But it breaks down impotently as soon as melancholy comes. [T]here is no doubt that healthy mindedness is inadequate…because the evil facts which it refuses positively to account for are a genuine portion of reality; and they may after all be the best key to life’s significance, and possibly the only openers of our eyes to the deepest levels of truth.”


Walter Brueggemann, in his book The Message of the Psalms, sees purpose in those that are cries of anguish (emphasis in original):

It is a curious fact that the church has, by and large, continued to sing songs of orientation in a world increasingly experienced as disoriented…It is my judgment that this action of the church is less an evangelical defiance guided by faith, and much more a frightened, numb denial and deception that does not want to acknowledge or experience the disorientation of life. The reason for such relentless affirmation of orientation seems to me, not from faith, but from the wishful optimism of our culture. Such a denial and cover-up, which I take it to be, is an odd inclination for passionate Bible users, given the larger number of psalms that are songs of lament, protest, and complaint about an incoherence that is experienced in the world…I believe that serous religious use of the lament psalms has been minimal because we have believed that faith does not mean to acknowledge and embrace negativity. We have thought that acknowledgement of negativity was somehow an act of unfaith, as though the very speech about it conceded too much about God’s “loss of control”…The point to be urged here is this: The use of these “psalms of darkness” may be judged by the world to be acts of unfaith and failure, but for the trusting community, their use is an act of bold faith…

Why not “negative” near-death experience?

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Happy near-death experiences are considered positive. Why don’t I call unhappy ones negative?

Simple. Because “negative” suggests bad as opposed to good. And that is just plain misleading. It’s a characterization rather than a description.

A distressing NDE is emotionally painful, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. It hurts, but hurting often leads to discovering the source of a problem and getting past it. Pain is a symptom, not an end. Worked with carefully, a horrifying NDE can lead to near-miraculous changes of understanding and attitudes with good outcomes. Not negative at all.

On the other hand, a blissful NDE feels great at the time, but if it leads afterward to ego-inflation and an attitude of superiority (which is not uncommon, at least temporarily),  or to excessive risk-taking or abandonment of family responsibilities, then, although happy in the moment, it was not genuinely a positive experience but destructive.

Recommendation: Dump “negative.” Instead, use a more specific adjective that actually describes what the experience was like: distressing, frightening, scary, painful, empty, threatening, hellish.  If you use a different word, send it in a comment; we’ll start a list of all the adjectives people use to describe their NDEs.

What are “other” near-death experiences?

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What to say about “Dancing past  the dark.” Well, first of all this is a blog largely about the “other” near-death experiences–the ones that aren’t glorious but that must be talked about.

They do exist. I had such an experience, which shook me so badly I didn’t tell anyone about it for a couple of decades. It has taken almost thirty years, almost full time and including a master’s degree, for me to piece together enough information to make this conversation possible.

Who has them? Just about anyone. What do they mean? Long answer; read this blog and the book (which is coming). Is it true that people who have one are destined for hell forever? I think not. This emphatic statement will alarm some theologically minded readers, but I invite you who feel that way to stick around; I also believe there is a way in which hell is quite real. Let’s talk. It should at least be interesting.

There will be answers to frequently asked questions … and books I’ve found helpful… and a book coming along (see sample chapter in this very spot). You can let me know what else you’d like to see. To answer “so who’s she?” questions, see About the Author.

Second, “Dancing past the dark”–a title I hope will change–will be about other things also–odd bits discovered during that thirty years of study, books you might like to read, thoughts  about how we decide what things mean, and whether religion still makes sense or has a purpose. Sometimes real-world posts about whatever is going on in the salt marsh outside my study windows.

I will do my best to respond to comments but cannot promise long, detailed correspondence about individual experiences. And be warned in advance: Rude, pointlessly hostile, or inane entries will not see the light of publication. Disagreement is welcome, but if it is not civil, it will be invisible.