Dancing Past the Dark ~ distressing near-death experiences

Why not “negative” near-death experience?

By 7 Comments

Happy near-death experiences are considered positive. Why don’t I call unhappy ones negative?

Simple. Because “negative” suggests bad as opposed to good. And that is just plain misleading. It’s a characterization rather than a description.

A distressing NDE is emotionally painful, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. It hurts, but hurting often leads to discovering the source of a problem and getting past it. Pain is a symptom, not an end. Worked with carefully, a horrifying NDE can lead to near-miraculous changes of understanding and attitudes with good outcomes. Not negative at all.

On the other hand, a blissful NDE feels great at the time, but if it leads afterward to ego-inflation and an attitude of superiority (which is not uncommon, at least temporarily),  or to excessive risk-taking or abandonment of family responsibilities, then, although happy in the moment, it was not genuinely a positive experience but destructive.

Recommendation: Dump “negative.” Instead, use a more specific adjective that actually describes what the experience was like: distressing, frightening, scary, painful, empty, threatening, hellish.  If you use a different word, send it in a comment; we’ll start a list of all the adjectives people use to describe their NDEs.

What are “other” near-death experiences?

By 7 Comments

What to say about “Dancing past  the dark.” Well, first of all this is a blog largely about the “other” near-death experiences–the ones that aren’t glorious but that must be talked about.

They do exist. I had such an experience, which shook me so badly I didn’t tell anyone about it for a couple of decades. It has taken almost thirty years, almost full time and including a master’s degree, for me to piece together enough information to make this conversation possible.

Who has them? Just about anyone. What do they mean? Long answer; read this blog and the book (which is coming). Is it true that people who have one are destined for hell forever? I think not. This emphatic statement will alarm some theologically minded readers, but I invite you who feel that way to stick around; I also believe there is a way in which hell is quite real. Let’s talk. It should at least be interesting.

There will be answers to frequently asked questions … and books I’ve found helpful… and a book coming along (see sample chapter in this very spot). You can let me know what else you’d like to see. To answer “so who’s she?” questions, see About the Author.

Second, “Dancing past the dark”–a title I hope will change–will be about other things also–odd bits discovered during that thirty years of study, books you might like to read, thoughts  about how we decide what things mean, and whether religion still makes sense or has a purpose. Sometimes real-world posts about whatever is going on in the salt marsh outside my study windows.

I will do my best to respond to comments but cannot promise long, detailed correspondence about individual experiences. And be warned in advance: Rude, pointlessly hostile, or inane entries will not see the light of publication. Disagreement is welcome, but if it is not civil, it will be invisible.