From her noteworthy blog, Writing from the twelfth house, the perceptive Glaswegian author and astrologer Anne Whitaker (how lame labels can be!) has been following Dancing for quite a while, corresponding with us by comment and occasional email. After reading Anne’s powerful description of the aftermath of an extended and disturbing crisis, I asked to re-post her reflection here, to which she has graciously assented. What she says about the struggle is so much what I have been trying to express, it is my great pleasure to be able to share this with you all.
Writing from the twelfth house |
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I understand this. At 77, I reflect back on my own life. I have accepted myself totally. Every experience in my life no matter how painful has taught me something.
Some of these things I didn’t even know that I needed to learn. It took life to confront me to force it to happen.
We come here through those who came before us. They came through those who came before them. The people we come through can damage us emotionally, even though they love us. They were also trying to find themselves.
Our true purpose for coming is something we have to rediscover as we live. In doing this we also have to forgive those who damaged us. They too were damaged on their way in.
The only way to recover is to understand and forgive them. If you can do this, then you can forgive yourself.
From there you can begin to be what you came for.
Thank you, Dave, for these wise words with which I very much agree. I am fortunate to have several friends who are a good deal older than I am – and they are teaching me through their example how to age with fortitude, grace and good humour. I hope I can be like you and them should I live a long life.
How beautiful, eloquent, and true.
I would only add, that we should beg forgiveness from those whom we ourselves unknowingly damaged while immersed in battle with our own pain.
There’s no way to agree enough! And after that, part of the challenge is then to forgive ourselves.
Leslie
Do I ever hear you. Things that I’ve done right, I don’t even think about. I was filled with love as I did them, and enjoyed the moments. The feeling that consumed me in the moment was the payoff. Who could ask for anything more.
I also remember everything I’ve done wrong in detail. The images, and their regret keep flashing through my consciousness like a life review I’m continually having while I’m still alive. How could I have done that, and more important, who and what was I when I did it.
Being deeply involved with music all my life, people ask me “what is the Blues”? I say the blues to me is everything I see when I turn and look behind me, that I wish I’d never done that I can never change.
The hardest part is knowing that the moment where I could have controlled some of the damage by asking forgiveness is long gone, never to return. How I wish I could travel back.
Thanks so much for this, Nan. Would very much like to reciprocate but will be in touch via email.
Will be happy to see your name on an email! And thank you so much for this very special post.
Dear all good people,
I would like to thank you for your very nice and interesting mail,I deeply enjoyed it. annewhtaker’s experience is so much like that of mine,so I realy understood her and her writing.
I will be waiting for your next mails,
With my best wishes and warm regards,
Isa
I’m so glad you’re here, Isa.
Thanks to Nan for being generous enough to publish my post – and to Nan’s readers for their heartfelt and interesting comments. All good wishes from Scotland!
An interesting post, from Anne. Interesting in a few ways,
it seems that she encountered what has been called “the
dark night of the soul”. The other interesting fact is that it
took appx 7 years to get to integrate all of what had been
going on in her life, that is a common length of time for
integrating the experience of NDEs and some STEs.
The only thing I would add to Dave’s comment is that I don’t
mind any experience, for every one, seemingly good or bad
has made me who I am today, and it’s the same for everyone
else. Accept all that life offers you, even if it seems bitter at
the time. There is a gift there.
Just some thoughts
Don
And worthwhile thoughts, too. Thanks, Don, especially for your observation about the seven years. And the gift!
Fascinating blog, just think it could benefit from something like a previous/next post button.
Oh, thank you for that reminder! I’ve been meaning to do exactly that. Other readers, I suspect, will want to fall at your feet. Very glad you’re here and talking.