Here is Scottish physician Bob Leckridge in a post on his “Heroes Not Zombies” blog.
The suffering gap
I come across this issue all the time – there is a gap between reality and fantasy, and that’s where suffering occurs.
By fantasy, I really mean imagination, but that includes hopes, dreams, and idealised wishes for how things could be. It includes memories too, because I don’t believe memories are like objects tucked into some cerebral drawer – we recreate them, imagine them anew, every time we bring them into the present.
Some terrible things happen to people. Things that will never go away. And those things keep jumping into the present.