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Dancing Past the Dark ~ distressing near-death experiences

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Could justifiable fear cause a negative NDE?

September 7, 2011 By Nan Bush 1 Comment

A reader says he knows about “all the negative traits a person’s character can contain that could trigger a negative NDE.” But now he is curious. What if the cause isn’t related to some spiritual fault? What if, before an operation, a person is scared to death? What if there’s been an accident, and a person is afraid he’s going to die?

The question is, “Could justifiable fear in a crucial moment cause a distressing NDE?”

The answer, I’m sorry to say, is the same as for so many questions about near-death experiences and their close relatives: We don’t know. Nobody knows. There is no data that would help answer these questions.

However, we can make some assumptions.

For one thing, there is no hard evidence that character traits “cause” any type of NDE. The list of character traits that people assume help to create a distressing NDE include: being hostile, cold, repressed, suppressed, unloving, controlling, rigid, sinful, guilt-ridden, non-God-loving, fearful, mean. Although authors, even some researchers, have said those traits are connected to distressing NDEs, no testable evidence has been produced in support; the list is based on guesswork,  assumptions, and experiencers’ self-assessments (“I think I was unloving”), not on factual evidence.

By contrast, there are individuals with a perfect fit to those descriptions who have had pleasant, even blissful NDEs. Some describe themselves as having been unloving, even hostile, before the NDE, whereas afterward they have become open and affectionate. On the other hand, some kindly, friendly, peaceful, religious, loving people have had a really difficult experience. Perhaps there are subtle factors we don’t know about or can’t capture that make a difference; but in broad terms, the observable characteristics of a person simply do not always match up to the type of NDE.

I believe the same is true with the question of whether justifiable fear might cause a distressing NDE. Some women happy to be delivering a baby have had extremely unpleasant NDEs. And some people who say they were terrified and half-expecting to die during open heart surgery have had glorious NDEs. The thought does not always produce the corresponding effect.

At the same time, although the evidence does not support making a general rule about causation, healthcare workers know that optimism and calm are likely to be more helpful attitudes in a crisis than anxiety and agitation. The positive attitudes may have nothing to do with near-death experiences, but they will certainly help the person’s psychological status both before and after the crisis.

Tagged With: cause, character traits, justifiable fear, psychological status, scared

After the conference headiness

September 6, 2011 By Nan Bush 2 Comments

OK, so I’m back. IANDS–the International Association for Near-Death Studies–just had its 30th anniversary conference. Thirty years. A miracle! Now my challenge is to settle down after all the excitement and that incredibly high energy level and put the interconnectedness into practice.

From my perspective, several trends stand out:

  • Distressing near-death experiences, for so long the despised step-child of the field, are increasingly recognized as genuine, though still baffling, spiritual events that must be investigated, engaged, and allowed into the family. The attitude of most conference-goers has changed dramatically. Now they are ready for substantive information.
  • As more than one science-centered presentation emphasized, the idea of the nonlocality of consciousness–that is, that mind is more than a product of the brain and is not located exclusively there–has gained good traction among thoughtful and informed thinkers. Three decades ago, that was barely a mirage, though the idea was far from new; now the concept is almost commonplace. It is still mysterious, and I would guess often understood incorrectly, but accepted as a likely truth. Books like Irreducible Mind  (Kelly et al) and Science and the Near-Death Experience (Chris Carter) make the point.
  • Responses to NDEs and their aftereffects has shifted, over time, from the early “gosh-golly-wow!” reactions to  to a more grounded interest in how to integrate the experience into daily life in both individuals and the community. This shift from naive enthusiasm to a more purposeful approach goes with an intensified understanding that as society in general, and the planet as a whole, are being confronted by massive challenges and disruptions on all sides, there is something about near-death experiences that can help humankind deal with the changes.  The question, of course, is how.
So, the heady socializing and idea-sharing in community over for another year, we buckle back down to living out whatever it is we believe we know from these experiences, whether our own or those of others. Back to chopping wood and carrying water.

Small good news

August 17, 2011 By Nan Bush Leave a Comment

Yes, it’s small; but we take what we can get and are grateful. The ‘Sample chapter’ link at the menu bar is now properly configured and includes Chapter 2, “The Other Shoe.” Love those support forums!

Chapter 2…

August 14, 2011 By Nan Bush 10 Comments

We left our researchers waiting for the other shoe to fall. See the “Sample chapter” link, above, to follow the adventure.

What is the function of a distressing NDE, #3

July 12, 2011 By Nan Bush 4 Comments

Over-commitment is not a wise choice when beginning a conversation that requires focus and time. That said by way of an apology, let me get back to my question about the function of distressing near-death experience.

Two emails have arrived in my in-box almost simultaneously, both bearing on this question. In one of them, a friend says:

“Some of the gold that has settled to the bottom of the pan for me, is the idea that faith is simultaneously a duality of two very strongly opposed forces that tear at our existence in exactly the same way it does in nature. And it is this duality that creates the tragic, joyful, soul-saving tension that is both our salvation and our damnation.

“It is critically important to understand that this duality is not, in totality, a blessing or a curse. In physics, light has the duality of being simultaneous both wave and particle. In the cat in the box example, the cat may be considered to be simultaneously alive and dead. Since in both cases, the duality is simultaneous and co-existent, it is indeterminate; it cannot be thought of as one state vs. another. The two states are not only coexistent, they are mutually dependent and mutually exclusive. Each state exists only because the other exists and at the same time, it exists in concert and opposition to its other. Every decision we make, no matter how large or how small is our own. And no matter which side of the duality we choose, there is immediate tension and conflict from the other side.”

The other email is from another friend, NDE researcher Jim McCartney. From a context quite different than that of my friend quoted above, he comments on “an intimately entangled universe pointing toward consciousness as the basis of all, a picture increasingly shared by scientists and mystics.”

He points to the well documented fact that, in contrast to the assumptions of conventional thinking, “Some people who have NDEs or undergo extreme trauma, over time exhibit not only resiliency, but significant growth, even though they may remain physically, mentally or circumstantially compromised. In fact, people transforming their life through crisis can be readily identified:

  • “Greater compassion and empathy for others
  • “New and greater strength (psychological toughness/resilience)
  • “Greater psychological/emotional maturity
  • “A recognition of vulnerability and struggle, and a deeper appreciation of life
  • “New values and life priorities (less materialistic, heightened intimacy in relationships)
  • “Greater existential or spiritual clarity”

Notice that he does not say whether the trigger will be pleasant or negative; in fact, it may be either. The key element in this is crisis. The precipitating event could be any revolutionizing situation—NDE, divorce, terrible medical procedure (especially in children), combat incident, spontaneous spiritual experience, natural disaster—any event that is presents as a crisis, a point of disjuncture. In NDE terms, crisis is the situation itself, whether it involves a blasting away of previous assumptions by way of a trip to what might be heaven or the destruction of assumptions about the reality of existence by way of a distressing NDE.

The crisis, which may be either joyful or anguished, precipitates movement toward the integration that  is described in my other friend’s comments —“the tragic, joyful, soul-saving tension that is both our salvation and our damnation.” It is, indeed, the “intimately entangled universe.”

My friend concludes:

“But do not be deceived about one thing. This shadow thru which we must pass is not a twilight, it is an absolute darkness, a total lack of light. And what is more significant, once one has entered this darkness, and we all must, it is impossible to go back out the way you came in. Either you wander forever in perfect perpetual darkness, that has the dualistic appearance of light, or you move toward the inevitable reality. It is inevitable because, in the end of all things, it will be resolved. You cannot see where you are going, yet you must try to go. You must ask questions that you do not understand and accept answers that are an enigma. In a metaphysical sense, we must render unto Cesar the things that are Cesar’s and unto God the things that are God’s.
“As Rabbi Gellman wrote, the only resolution will come when our souls stand before God in judgment after death. Only then will we understand. Only then will the materialistic physical be melted away, the darkness abolished, and the only reality left will be true, eternal light. The duality will be gone.”
I couldn’t have said it as well. In the meantime, there is the tension, and the work of integrating it.

What is the function of a distressing NDE?

June 20, 2011 By Nan Bush 7 Comments

What is the function of a distressing near-death experience? The function of a distressing near-death experience is to deliver:

A)   A foretaste of punishment after death

B)    (related to A) An external judgment on the quality of one’s life

C)    A subconscious judgment by oneself on the quality of one’s life

D)   Neither a prediction nor judgment but a symbolically coded message about something of importance to one’s life

E)    [Other. Your suggestion]

Think about this a bit; please feel free to comment with your ideas. Within a few days I’ll post more about the question. It would be good to have your thoughts in the mix.

Please note: In the interest of not wasting anyone’s time, “A meaningless hallucination” is not included in that list.

 

 

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